Steven-Johnson's Syndrome...or Possibly Johnson-Steven's Syndrome

Lana's allergic reaction to the sulfa medication was somewhat more serious than we originally thought. In addition to the large, red, itchy lumps, her mucous membranes were bleeding and it was not a good situation. She can never have any sulfa drugs ever again. The doctor called the reaction a Steven-Johnson's Syndrome reaction. Or vice versa. I'm somewhat too tired to recall. She was hesitant to give her any other antibiotic at this time, but, fortunately, her urine was "clean", so, she (the doctor) seemed to think the bladder infection had cleared. I mentioned the crying in her sleep, and the doctor said, "Well, she was in a lot of pain. She probably felt like her skin was crawling off."

She has been on Benadryl round the clock and seems to be feeling better. She slept all last night which is a huge bonus. Gabriel slept with me in the front room, because he is having some kind of nighttime anxiety - he says he is afraid of something but he doesn't know what (oh, I don't know, perhaps afraid that his parents will leave again for 3 weeks and come back with a whole human being??). He did go right to sleep once I laid down with him, and, at the moment, the only thing that matters to me is that everybody sleeps. (Adding to our exhaustion, poor David has some kind of flu - chills, fever, achiness, etc. No fun.)

Somebody tell me I'll feel like a regular human being someday soon,
Gretchen

Fun with Sulfa Drugs

It seems Lana is allergic to the Septra she was prescribed for her raging bladder infection. The smallish, roundish, non-uniform raised welts started yesterday. They have now spread to most of her little body. I paged our doctor this morning and described the rash, and he said it sounded like a classic non-anaphalatic (sp?) reaction to sulfa drugs. I inquired if it was possible for this to happen five days after we began treatment, and he was responded that was typical, evidently, unlike hives which would occur much more quickly.

So...lovely. We had lousy sleep again last night, but, probably because the poor child was itchy. She may also be experiencing lower back pain and mouth pain and joint pain. Not that she could tell us that...

Tired,
Gretchen

New Pictures and Pre-School Visit

I have uploaded some new pictures at:

http://s140.photobucket.com/albums/r21/gretchenfaith/

We took Lana to see her new pre-school this morning with an unexpected result. (And honestly, we should have expected this, and the fact that we didn't makes me wonder about our cognitive abilities in the face of some serious jet lag.) Lana was AFRAID. The look on her face when we took her down to the baby and toddler room to introduce her to Gabe's old teachers was pure terror. Pure, cold terror. She clung to David like she might drown if he let go of her.

And then it dawned on me. She thought we were at an orphanage. She thought we were at an a orphanage and we were going to leave her there.

So, David held on to her and we walked down to the "Gecko" room, which is the preschool room she will be in. We went in and sat down at the back of the class and watched the children. She was still afraid. We watched for a while and the other children came up to say hello, but, Lana sat firmly in David's lap and didn't budge.

So...we have located a student from the Vietnamese Student Association at the University who is going to meet us at the nursey school (which is on campus) and he is going to explain to her that this is a SCHOOL and that it is not an orphanage, and that she will go to school there just like she went to school in VietNam and that mother or father will pick her up from school every day and go home. And then David is going to spend some time with her there every day for a week. And we are going to meet her teacher one night next week in a setting away from the school. And hopefully, after that, she will feel okay about the situation.

Lana also went on a cub scout "go see it" outing last night with Gabe and Dave and I. It was the Historical Museum and Village, and she did very well. She was shy, but, no more shy than the two other little sisters who were there. After the outing, she ate some rotisserie chicken and some grapes and some lettuce, and we put her in her new footy pajamas, since it was so cold.

The footy pajamas were a hit while she was awake, but, when it came time to go to sleep, she tossed and turned and eventually started tugging at the feet, and when I changed her out of them, she was sweaty and burning up like a chimney. So, I guess the footy pajamas are not actually going to get a lot fo use.

Gretchen

Silent Night

What a difference a good night's sleep makes.

I took a nice long nap yesterday afternoon, and woke up around 7:00 PM. Evidently Lana passed some of the time while I was asleep WASHING THE KITCHEN CUPBOARDS. David said she was very happy while she washed the cupboards and sang her little song that she sings about "Bak Ho"*. She is particular about cleanliness and Vietnamese nationalism**, this new child of ours.

We ate some scrambled eggs with cheese and toast for dinner, and then we had Gabe show Lana the joy of a bubble bath. Lana watched with interest as Gabe played happily in his tub of bubbles. Then, I took Gabe out of the tub, drained the tub, and put fresh water and bubbles in. Lana stood in the tub and handed me a stacking cup from our tub toys and motioned that I should pour water over her with it. Sigh. It seems it will be some time before she enjoys a bubble bath, or perhaps she will always prefer to bathe this way. I can't complain - she's clean and this way seems to make her happy.

After baths I tried to get Gabe and Lana to eat some yogurt for snack before bed. I was reading them two books, "The Napping House" and "From a Railway Carriage" - and trying very hard to keep Lana's attention on the reading. (Her foster mom said she liked to be read to, so, I am hoping that once she has a better handle on English that she will enjoy being read to in English, as this is one of Gabe and my favorite activities together, and it would be nice if she would join us without a fight.) Gabe ate all of his yogurt and Lana barely touched hers. When Gabe said, "mommy, I want more yogurt," Lana turned her head to him with a shock of surprise in her eyes. I swear it was an "a-ha" moment for her. (I remember having such "a-ha" moments myself in France and later in Japan, when I realized that someone had said something to me and I had understood it without having to consciously think about translating it. Lana is too young, probably, to be consciously translating, but, I do think it was a moment when she heard the words and understood their meaning and that it was a pleasant shock for her.) She picked up her spoon and carefully got a bite of yogurt and put it in Gabriel's mouth. Then she proceeded to feed him the whole dish of her yogurt. I wish I had pictures!

After books and snack, I put both kids in Gabe's bed and I sang "I'm in Love with Big Blue Frog" and "Be Thou My Wisdom" and Lana helped me tuck Gabe into bed. Then, I put her in her bed, and she lay down, but, she cried until I laid down next to her. Ten minutes later she was out, and I crawled into my own bed, only to find Gabe snuggled up next to David. Too tired to argue, we all fell asleep. At some point Gabe must have gone back to his own bed, because I woke up at 5:30 this morning feeling more like my own self than I have in weeks. Gabriel slept until 7:45 and Lana slept until 9:00 and things feel like they are looking up.

Gretchen

* and ** - I'm not sure what to make of Lana's earnest devotion to Ho Chi Minh (Bak Ho). My main concern is that it is not the kind of thing that will endear her to the Vietnamese community here in the States (please correct me if I am wrong about this), and that I will find myself at a something like Lunar New Year or Autumn Moon Festival Event with a child yelling, in Vietnamese, "Bak Ho is Vietnam's Savior" to a crowd who will not find that even a little bit cute. I'm really not at all sure how to address this matter.

I do have to share this one story, though, which I find hysterical: When we arrrived at the Incheon International Airport in Seoul, South Korea, Lana had her first glimpse of Kentucky Fried Chicken. (There are very few American restaurant chains in Vietnam, I did not see a single McDonald's or Burger King or anything of that sort. With the exception of Coca Cola, I really saw very few American products.) Anyway, we are walking through the airport, dead tired, and Lana sees the KFC and the picture of Colonel Sanders and she starts jumping up and down, excitedly yelling, "Bak Ho! Bak Ho! Ba! Look! Bak Ho! Bak Ho!". So, yes, my daughter thinks the king of fried chicken is Uncle Ho. What are we to make of that??

G

"What Can Go Wrong Will Go Wrong" ~ Murphy

Someone really needs to check into my ancestry because it sure feels like Murphy (or possibly Lucille Ball) must be back there somewhere...

I've had one flat tire in my whole life up 'til yesterday.

At three thirty yesterday afternoon, we put Lana in her winter coat and I buckled her into her car seat in the back seat of my car. She seemed shocked by this (the car, not the weather). I guess, considering that the child had never been in a car her whole life until 15 days ago, and spent our time in Hanoi riding in taxi cabs, it may have been something of a shock to learn that not only does mommy have a car, but that mommy DRIVES a car. She stared at me dumbfounded through the rear view mirror.

I was worried we were going to be late for the doctor, so, in my haste to get out of the house, I had grabbed my red purse. Unfortunately, my cell phone was in my black purse I had taken to Vietnam, which was sitting on my kitchen floor.

It felt odd to drive the car, but, I thought it was just that I hadn't driven in so long, and also that driving through the quiet western part of our county was so surreal after the insanity of Hanoi.

THEN, I heard a weird sound and a flub-flub-flub and a skid and I was sitting on the side of the road with NO cell phone, a flat tire and a confused four year old...

Much swearing ensued. (Let's hope Lana didn't pick up those English words...)

I got out of the car and after a minute a car came down the road. I flagged the driver down and it was a mom and two daughters. I explained that I had forgotten my cell phone and could I use hers - thank goodness she was happy to help. I called David at home, who had to wait for about 4 minutes to get Gabe off the school bus. Then he and Gabe drove down to where I was stuck, and he took Lana and Gabe and went to the doctor, while I called AAA and waited. My neighbor, April, happened to drive by, so, she stopped to make sure I was okay, and then my uncle stopped to make sure I was okay - but, by that time (45 mintues) the AAA guy had finally shown up and was changing my tire. Oy.

I drove home and Dave called to tell me that, according to the doctor, Lana has a "raging bladder infection" and "there's ALL KINDS of stuff in there." Lovely. This is when the guilt started on my part, since I had an antibiotic for Lana with us in Vietnam, and I SUSPECTED that she might have a UTI, but, I didn't want to give her the antibiotic if she didn't, and now she was sick and in pain and I felt like it was all my fault for not just giving her the stupid antibiotic. (But, there was a part of me that wondered if she kept asking to go the bathroom all the time because it was one of the few things that we were completely communicating on. If she said she had to pee, we went to the potty. Cause and effect, etc. Now I realize that she had to pee all the time because she was sick and feel tremendously lousy about that.)

Anyway, we got her her first dose of antibiotic before bed, but, last night was just hell. She cried on and off from 10:30 to 3:00, and had a screaming fit when I tried to get some Tylenol in her. After force feeding the Tylenol, she finally fell into a quiet sleep...she is still sleeping now. I probably should be too, but, I can't.

Hoping for a better day and night today,
Gretchen

Feels Like Home to Me, Feels like I'm on my way back where I belong

Home. Home home home home home home home home.

"Home" was my mantra for 27 hours of travel. "Home" was what I focused on, that single word, as I sat in airplane bathrooms for half-hours at a time, holding a screaming, grieving child on my lap as she screamed her sadness, terror and anger, as she begged for the mother she finally seemed to realize was lost to her forever. "Ma---------------------" she cried, she screamed, she hollered, her face pink with sadness and rage. I would point to myself and say, "Ma. I am Ma." The look of despair on my child's face as she shook her head broke my heart. "Ma Ham, Ma Ham" (I am pretty sure that this means "not ma". (I took her to the bathrooms when this happened so that she could rage without disturbing the other passengers. Sometimes I would emerge from the bathroom, crying myself, holding my crying child, asking strangers, "Chi co hio din viet? Ang co hio din viet? Which I THOUGHT was supposed to mean, "do you speak Vietnamese" Evidently it does not. I resorted, at one point, to bursting into a sob and begging a stewardess to find a Vietnamese person. The Korean stewardess at first thought I was asking for a BEER (????????????????????????) and when I finally wrote the word "VIETNAMESE PERSON" on a piece of paper, 3 minutes later the stewardess was back with a bewildered Vietnamese twenty-something woman, who, after several minutes of explanation, sat down with Lan and spoke quietly to her for a few minutes. She stood up and said, "I'm sorry, she says she is sad. She wants her her mommy." Then, the girl touched my shoulder (I was crying pretty hard myself at this point) and said, "I'm so sorry. In time, I'm sure, she will be very happy with you.") I cannot even put into words how painful, stressful and exhausting this was. I will tell you the saving grace, though. At the end of each session of hysterical crying, Lana would get control of herself, and then she would point to my nose and say, in English, "mommy". And then she would ask for her "Ba". And we would go back to our seats and she sit for another while, sometimes as long as four hours, before she had another meltdown.

So, it seems I will never be her "Ma". But evidently, I can be her "mommy".

Time can do funny things when you have been awake far longer than one is supposed to be awake. Our flight didn't leave Hanoi until midnight on Sunday night - we had been awake since 6:30 Sunday morning. The exhaustion that came over us was complete - a feeling of almost madness, of desperate longing for sleep. We slept briefly in the airport in Seoul - I did not know that there was a TRANSIT HOTEL in the AIRPORT in Seoul until it was TOO LATE to be useful for us. But, for the Brubaker family and anyone else traveling to Vietnam via Korean Air- totally look into that transit hotel at the Incheon airport. Believe me when I tell you that I woke up on the floor of the airport, with drool on my face, dust in my hair, and the sad realization that I had only slept for 45 minutes. It was disheartening to say the least. (Lan probably slept for 2 solid hours on a bank of chairs in Seoul, but, she wouldn't lay down until I layed down, and in order to do that, I had to lay on the floor next to her. It was then that I wished I had purchased one of those tiny silk "sleeping bags" that are for sale all over the old quarter of Hanoi. I kept seeing them (folded up they are smaller than a tiny purse) and thinking, what is the POINT of a sleeping bag made of silk that folds up tinier than a purse? ANSWER - if you ever find yourself needing to sleep on a cold floor in a South Korean airport, that's where.)

The flight from Seoul to Chicago was better than the flight from Hanoi to Seoul. There were still many fits and rages in the bathroom, but, we each had a personal entertainment system with movies and games, which kept her at least VAGUELY interested. She didn't eat much (but, then, neither did I.) The plane was WAY TOO HOT, and I just couldn't fall asleep. Lan insisted on sleeping on me when she wasn't screaming at me in the bathroom. (I bizarre dichotomy of anger and dependency...)

We landed in Chicago and made it through immigration without any trouble. Lan did not want to allow our bags to be rechecked through to Detroit (there was angry footstomping at the bag handlers). By chance I saw a man with the name of Nguyen and address in Illinois taped to his bag, so, I asked him if he spoke Vietnamese and he looked at me like I must be crazy or dangerous, but, he nodded yes. (Thank you GOD!!) I asked him to tell Lan in Vietnamese that we had to get on one more airplane, but that it would be short and when we got off we wouldn't get on another airplane for a very long time. The man looked EXTREMELY UNCOMFORTABLE with this request, but, he leaned down and said something to Lan in Vietnamese. She gave him a look like she wanted to slap him and stormed off to grab David's hand. I thanked the man and he shrugged. Whereever you are, Mr. Nguyen of Champaign, Illinois, I do appreciate your efforts.

When we got to the domestic gate for our flight to Detroit, we were informed that the plane that was supposed to take us to Detroit was stuck in Minneapolis. THAT was when I lost my mind, I think. I started crying HUGE sobs of exhaustion and frustration. HOW can you get us 9,000 miles, from the other side of the planet, ON TIME, but, can you NOT GET US FROM CHICAGO TO DETROIT? It was not pretty. David managed to procure a Big Mac and French Fries (clever clever man) and a toothbrush and toothpaste, and the plane managed to arrive in Chicago (not in a timely enough manner to get 31 angry New Orleans Saints fans to their connecting flight to Louisiana in time, however...yes, you haven't lived until you've been awake for 46 hours and are sharing a small plane with 31 New Orleaners whose team has just lost it's shot at the Super Bowl and who have just been told that they are going to have to spend the night in DETROIT because all the flights to New Orleans will have left by the time they get there. Yeah. That's fun. NOT.)

After what seemed like a year, but was really 26 hours of travel, we arrived in Detroit to find Gabriel, my sister, my mom and my step-dad. I cried again when I saw my Gabe. We got our bags and climbed into my sister's mini-van and I promptly passed out. I woke up a few minutes from our house, we ate some dinner my sister had left for us, and Lan and I and Dave were asleep by 8:00. My mom stayed the night and put Gabe to bed. Lan was up and down much of the night - we think she might have a bladder infection. I am taking her to the doctor at four pm.

I am just glad, so glad, to be home at last. (Sorry if this post is disjointed. I'm still not 100%.)

Gretchen

Blue Boys Pajamas and Mismatched Socks

Lana came to us, on the morning of January 8, 2007, in a pair of blue boys pajamas and mismatched socks (one red with black stripes, one red with blue stripes.)  I don't think I have posted a picture of Lana in that outfit, but, another child can be seen wearing the same set of pajamas in the photo here:

 

http://s140.photobucket.com/albums/r21/gretchenfaith/?action=view&current=DSCN0753.jpg

 

They are either the same jammies, or the orphanage may have had several sets of those blue jammies (the child is the last child on the right side of the picture, who, incidentally, is being adopted by another Holt family (Hi Michelle!) who should be leaving soon to come and pick her up.)

 

At any rate, Lana was wearing those blue pajamas and the mismatched socks, and a pair of pink plastic clogs that were two sizes to small and had seen much better days.

 

My initial gut-instinct was to pitch all of these items in the trash.  However, I overruled my gut, assuming that, one day, those clothes might be extremely important to Lan.  (It occurred to me that one day they might be important to me, as well.)  At one point the orphanage director asked, as we were leaving with a crying, hysterical Lana, that we bring those clothes back to the care center after we had changed Lana into other clothes at the hotel.  The orphange director had done a few other things that made me really not happy with her, and considering that David and I had just delivered 30 brand new outfits in varying sizes to her, I did not return the clothes to the orphanage.  (For one thing, I certainly wasn't going to return there with Lan.) 

 

These clothes are the only thing Lan has left of her old life, with the exception of some photographs given to us by her foster family.  And these clothes are actually poor examples of her old life - she didn't live at the orphanage until 2 days before we arrived in DaNang - she lived with her foster family, she had other clothes, a backpack with school things in it, some toys, some items David and I had sent to her.  But, none of these things came with her.  Only the blue pajamas, the mismatched socks, and the tiny clogs.

 

So, it was somewhat of a concern to me when I found that one of the socks had gone missing.  I had looked for it a few times since we arrived in Hanoi, but, to no avail.  I assumed it had been lost in our transition from DaNang to HaNoi. gone forever. 

 

But, this morning, I found the wayward sock in my carry-on bag, as we were packing to get ready to leave Vietnam.  I was relieved to have it.  Lana showed no interest in wearing the mismatched socks, but, I am just glad we are able to take them home - the only tangible pieces of her prior life that will leave Vietnam with her.

 

We will get on a plane in about 12 hours.  We will be home Monday about 2:30 PM.  I think in a bit we will take a taxi into town for one final look at Hanoi.  We had intended to see Hoa Lo prison and Lenin park yesterday and did not have the chance (it rained a lot.)  We have some time to kill, so, I think we'll head out to do that.

 

Bye for now,

Gretchen

Coming Home!

Thanks to my sister Stace's efforts in dealing with the airline and travel agents, we are coming home tomorrow night!  (She tried to get us rerouted on a flight through Bangkok and Nagoya today, but, no such luck.)  The good news is we have a midnight flight Sunday evening from Hanoi to Seoul, and then we leave Seoul at 12:00 noon on Monday, arriving in Chicago at 9:30 AM Monday morning (we land in Chicago before we left Seoul)!

 

I have a question for the Curry Family or anyone else who has traveled back to the US with an adopted child on an IR3 visa with an entry point at O'Hare - how did the immigration experience go?  Please reply here or email me at g r e t c h e n f a i t h  at  y a h o o  dot c o m.

 

Yesterday we went to the Temple of Literature and also the Ethnology Museum.  We enjoyed both but we are so ready to come home!

 

Gretchen

~Blessed are those who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused~

Visa!

I am happy and relieved to report that we have received Lan's US Visa, an IR-3 visa, which allows her to enter the US on a Vietnamese Passport and "become" a US Citizen as her feet touch US soil.  (A legal fiction I find very interesting from a professional standpoint.)

 

We tried to get out of Hanoi on Korean Air's midnight flight to Seoul tonight, but, unfortunately, there are no more seats.  We are waitlisted for Sunday, but, if that doesn't happen, we can definitely leave on Tuesday, which is still 5 days earlier than expected.  Trying to look on the bright side and remind myself that now we will have the chance to see the Museum of Ethnology and Lenin Park.

 

Relieved that the paperwork went through without a hitch and that the only bureaucracy left to deal with is the airlines,

Gretchen

~Blessed are those who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused~

SOS Clinic and Embassy Interview

We had the SOS Clinic visit and 2nd Embassy Interview yesterday.

The French doctor at the clinic may have thrown things for a loop for us. She listened to Lan's heart and then told us that she has a heart murmur. We weren't aware of this, but, we know that many children have heart murmurs and that most of the time, they aren't a big deal. Even if it is a big deal, it's not as if, at this point, we wouldn't take her home with us.

BUT, the French doctor says, "before I can sign your paperwork for the Embassy, she must have an ultrasound to determine if she can fly."

WHAT??

So, David says, "she flew here from DaNang - she's already been on an airplane."

And the doctor says, 'No, she must have the ultrasound to see if she can fly."

We leave the examining room and speak to our Holt representative, who tells the clinic staff that we are leaving for the Embassy and that he needs to know if the doctor will sign the papers or not. The doctor agrees to sign the papers but insists that we come back to the clinic for an ultrasound that will cost $87.00. Suffice it to say I felt like I was about to fall apart.

We got to the Embassy and went into the interview room, and the Embassy employee opens the envelope from the doctor. On the front page, the doctor has signed that Lan has no defects that would prevent her coming to the US (i.e. TB or HIV). BUT, on the back of the form, the doctor has written, 'pending ultrasound re:heart murmur before departure."

So, the Embassy woman says, "I don't know what to do with this?" So, she has a conversation with another employee, and says, "well, you are aware that she has a heart murmur and that she needs to see a doctor within one month of coming to the US?" and we say, "of course we will take her to a doctor! We'll take her to the Univ.of Michigan if we need to. We'll take her to the Cleveland Clinic if we need to." So, the embassy worker says, "well, I am going to stamp this, 'ok to issue visa" and you just need to get her to a heart doctor at home. Come back tomorrow at 4PM to pick up the child's visa and passport."

So, now we are just praying that no one at the Embassy changes their minds. There is a vague possibility to get on a flight out of Hanoi tonight at midnight. If we don't make that flight, we won't be able to leave until Sunday or Tuesday.

Cross your fingers and your toes for us,
Gretchen

She loves to do the dishes...

Lana has spent the last 25 minutes washing the dishes. She is very serious about this activity, and obviously has been carefully trained in the art of dishwashing and conserving dish soap (she actually will wipe the soap off the nozzle/dispenser of the dish soap, before pouring any new soap into the sink.) She won't watch television, but, she'll quietly wash dishes. To say that this feels odd to me would be an understatement. (Neither David nor I slept well last night, so, we are both tired and needing her to amuse herself for a few minutes. I did not expect dishwashing would be the answer...)

Holt called us late last night and said they were moving up our medical exam and visa interview. They were supposed to happen on Friday, but, instead are happening today (Wednesday the 17th). Conceivably we may be allowed to fly home on Friday - if we can get flights. My sister is communicating with our travel agent to see what can be done. I want to come home.

Lana woke up in the middle of the night last night, around 2:00 AM. I wouldn't say she was awake, actually, she was calling out in her sleep. What she was calling was, "Ba! Con ga!"

As near as I can tell, I have determined two sensible possibilities for this - either, "Daddy! Fish!" or "Daddy! Police!"

Any other thoughts on what that might have meant??

More later,
Gretchen

Clean Hair and a Passport

We washed Lan's hair this morning for this first time. (Yes, I know we have had her for 8 days. But, honestly, until yesterday, it didn't look dirty and I was worried about what her reaction would be to having her hair washed. As some of you recall, until Gabe was about 4.5 years old, he screamed bloody murder whenever his hair had to be washed, so, I was expecting the same reaction from Lana.) Anyway, based on her prior bathing preferences (we have given her a "bath" almost every night) I put about 2 inches of water in the tub and starting pouring bowls full of water over her body. She looked at me kind of confused - we had just had a bath last night and this was the first time we had bathed her in the morning. I called in Dave for reinforcement, and then I carefully poured a bowl of water over her head and braced myself for screaming.

Except that no screaming ensued whatsoever. She looked at me like maybe this wasn't her favorite thing to do, all things considered, but, she wasn't going to give me a hard time about it. I started pouring more water over her head and she just wiped it away from her eyes every now and then. I shampooed her hair with the Johnson&Johnson's baby shampoo we bought in DaNang, and then I rinsed her hair. I was concerned that we didn't have any "no more tangles" type of product, but, as her hair dried - it was a parent's dream - it dried shiny and silky and fell perfectly into place. I don't know if I have mentioned this before, but, her hair is absolutely gorgeous - it feels like silk and doesn't tangle much and is generally shiny and stunning. So, we lucked out in the hair department - she has none of the colicks that plague her big brother's head.

We have been experiencing some testing behavior, and I am pretty sure we can never go back to the Fivimart, where, this morning, Lan threw a bit of a fit and we had to pick her up repeatedly. She was wearing a dress and she didn't make it easy for us to pick her up, so, several times when we lifted her up her underpants were exposed to the world. It was such barbaric behavior on our parts (I mean, we weren't intending to behave like barbarians, we just had an out of control four year old and no means of picking up her wiggling, kicking body without causing her dress to ride up...very embarrassing - at one point I thought someone was going to ask us if we were kidnapping the child.) Anyway, she won't be wearing a skirt again until we can get some little shorts or some tights. As we were leaving the Fivimart, I saw a pair of children's denim overalls on clearance for 30,000 D - about $1.90, so, we bought those and she has been wearing those the rest of today.

We had omelets for lunch and then Lana took a nap for about an hour. (She still seems to need an afternoon nap), and the Holt picked us up to take us back to the Vietnamese Immigration Department. The children's passports were supposed to be ready today, but, when we arrived, they told the Holt representative that the passports weren't there. Thai (the father in our group who is Vietnamese and speaks quite a bit of Vietnamese) was understanding most of the conversation, and I could tell from his face that the news was not good. I think that the immigration people told the Holt representative that we would have to leave and come back another day, and, I'm not sure what was said, but, we sat down and waited for 45 minutes, with the representative from Holt talking to different people. Finally, they called us to the counter and miraculously, our children's passports appeared. I was very very very relieved to see that passport.

After obtaining the passports, we took the children back to the playground at the Somerset Grand, and then walked around the Old Quarter, and had dinner at the Cyclo Bar - the food was good - we had a goat cheese appetizer, and then a traditional beef Vietnamese dish made me beef and vegetables, and David had a dish made with eggplants, peppers and cumin. Lana had fish fingers and potatoes and tomatoes and lettuce. She absolutely loves lettuce and tomatoes - which is just shocking to me (considering that the only vegetables Gabe will eat are broccoli and cauliflower - to have a child who stuffs vegetables into her mouth is just amazing. Watch - she will hate broccoli and cauliflower, I can totally see that happening!) One odd thing that happened was that Lan suddenly demanded some of my steamed rice. (We have offered her steamed rice daily and she has refused it, even though we were told it was eaten by her foster family every day - her refusal to eat any of it was really confusing to us.) But, today, when I ate steamed rice and didn't offer her any, she was suddenly all about steamed rice, and ate quite a bit of it. So, so far the western foods that Lan enjoys are fish fingers, potatoes, and yogurt. She hates spaghetti. She loves pho, but won't eat the meat that comes with pho, only the vegetables and the noodles, and appears to love fruits (except pineapple) and vegetables of all kinds, but especially greens.

Today, Lan gave David a kiss on the cheek. She also didn't scream when we kissed her head, which is a good sign, I think.

Off to have a snack and put this girl to bed,
Gretchen

More Impressions From David

Hello,

We went out to eat last night and I ordered the Mullet fish. It said
something like "Grilled Mullet in Vietnam style" so how could you go
wrong. Lana's plate of mustard greens cooked with garlic (that she dipped
in the spicy soy based sauce - it has cut up red peppers in it - it is
quite good, but spicy) and her battered shrimp (which turned out to be
whole shrimp skewered, battered and fried - eyes, legs and all - it was a
bit of work to extricate the meat, she only ate one, Gretchen and I ate
the rest.), and Gretchen's beef and noodles came quickly to the table. I
assumed after about 20 minutes of waiting for my fish (assuming it was a
grilled fillet of mullet) that I had not actually ordered it (something
that is quite possible, as the waitress spoke no English and my vietnamese
is laughed at by my daughter.) A few minutes later a large plate came to
the table, on it was a 2 kg fish, head, fins, and eyes attached.
Thankfully it was gutted and cooked. I know it was 2 kg because that is
how they charged me for it, of course they could have just charged me for
a 4.5 lb fish and brought me a smaller one, I don't know. It was good,
but in an unexpected form. After the turtle blood cocktail we saw the
other night, we have become less suprised by things not being what we have
anticipated - it really is a good way of going about things.
The Ho Chi Minh musuem is a bizarre blend of modern art and Ho Chi Minh
stuff - things from his home, letters, things from his time in France,
etc. It is difficult to describe - suffice it to say that there is a
replica of Picasso's Guernica mixed with other images from Dali, Matisse,
Chagall, etc. It is very interestingly done, just completely unexpected.
The art is very interesting. We went to the top floor first, intending to
see the lower stuff later, on the tip from a guidebook that it was the
most interesting. We, however, were not allowed to go back down once we
were at the top.
Today we toured Hanoi and blew through three million dong. (I originally
typed that as "we blew three million dong" then changed it on the advice
of my attorney.) We got some nice silk purses and ties, and laquered
plates and stuff. It was nice, but I am considering starting to smoke on
the thought that smoking through a filter would be better for my lungs
than breathing the smog, my throat hurts and my nose and eyes are running.
Even if there was a treadmill in the hotel, I am not sure I would be able
to use it, it is very hard to breathe. And most of you know how obsessive
I am about running...
It was good to walk around the city, some of the old quarter is accessible
by foot without fear of being run over. There are very few children out
and about with their parents. We are already a spectacle, but with a
Vietnamese child as well, we stand out more. The people are very friendly
and often tell us that our daughter needs more clothes on. It is 65-72
degrees here and people are in parkas with fur hoods. Lana is often hot
and sweaty and when given the chance, she takes her coat off. The stores
that are indoors are also very warm. I am a bit concerned about how she
will deal with the cold of Ohio...
Today Lana was interested in me alone. She sat on my lap during meals and
even went up to the room with me while Gretchen stayed in the lobby to
talk with some people. She seems to often find me amusing - pulling my
beard, throwing stuff at me, making fun of my attempts at speaking
vietnamese or singing the songs she is singing. Today, she wouldn't hold
Gretchen's hand and only held mine while we were walking.
It seems her passport is in and we have to get some medical stuff done for
Lana - a standard check, then an interview at the Embassy on Friday. The
Visa for Lana should be issued Monday or Tuesday next week. Maybe we will
be able to get home mid week, but we heard that everything is booked until
the 25th and that is on standby, we might just be stuck here until the
27th.
We are going to try and get some food now.

Dave

Shopping in the Old Quarter

After breakfast at the hotel this morning (a mediocre affair, generally speaking - one thing I do not understand is why, in a country that has, hands down, the best coffee ever, the hotel coffee is burned every single morning), we took a taxi into the Old Quarter. We found a coffee and pastry shop called "Bread and Chocolate". This pastry shop is part of the Hoa Sua school, which provides restaurant training for disadvantaged Vietnamese youths. By the quality of the pastries we sampled this morning, these trainees are on their way to becoming spectacular pasty chefs. I understand that they also have a French restaurant in the French Quarter (where else?). We may try to find that tomorrow, although it sounds like it might be too fancy for a four year old, and we are not willing to leave Lan with the hotel sitter. (I'm sure the hotel sitter is a lovely and kind person who is excellent with children - I'm just not willing to leave a four year old who is beginning to attach to us with anyone else right this minute. I expect that she will be with either Dave or myself until she is scheduled to begin at Apple Tree in February. She does seem to miss school - she was at school every day here in Vietnam from 8:30 to 5:00 until we adopted her last week. It is not clear if this was a pre-school or a compulsory kindergarten type of school - I've tried asking this question twice and got the answer, "it was school.")

After our pastries and coffee (good, Vietnamese coffee with sweetened condensed milk instead of the burnt American coffee at the hotel), we wandered along Hang Gai street in the Old Quarter. There were tons of silk shops on this road (although we are sad we didn't get to shop for silk in Hoi An (near DaNang), which is where the best prices and quality for silk are supposed to be found) we did find an ao dai for Lan, and some other beautiful things. I would like to buy Lan an ao dai that might fit her as an adult, but, I've no idea how to guess how tall she might become. She is tall for a Vietnamese girl - several people have questioned whether she really is only four years old - but, she is still within the realm of "normal" for a four year old girl...(I'm babbling, I'll stop.)

After shopping we found a restaurant, which I wish I could remember the name of, or even it's location, because it was very very good. David had something called "beef steak cooked in Hanoi style". It was beef with steamed rice in a sauce that was fabulous - it tasted like maybe the sauce was a vinegar based sauce, but, it's hard to describe. It was sweet, but not too sweet, and tangy. We ordered an egg and cheese omelet for Lan, because she ate eggs and cheese the other day - and she ate them very happily again. (Vu, one of the social workers from Holt, told me later that all Vietnamese children love fried eggs. That would have been great info to have 6 days ago when she wouldn't eat anything but fruit and yogurt. No one at Holt in DaNang, or even her foster mom, mentioned eggs one way or the other when they told me her food preferences. Of course they didn't mention greens either - although they did stress that she loves "boiled vegetable" - which I think now probably means greens. I just imagined that they meant boiled carrots...although, she likes boiled carrots, too.) I ordered noodles with chili and garlic - it was excellent.

We met this afternoon with a Holt representative, who told us that our I600 application was approved on Friday. They are picking us up tomorrow to go back to the Vietnamese immigration office to pick up Lan's passport, and then we will have our SOS clinic appointment and 2nd US Embassy interview on Friday afternoon. Holt expects our visa will be issued on Monday or Tuesday. The question will then become, can we get on a flight out of Hanoi before Saturday the 27th? Things are not looking so good with Korean Air in that respect...

Well, it's time for bath and then bed. Lan is picking up English - today she counted to ten and will say "up" and "down" and "hello".

More later,
Gretchen

"Bac Ho" and "Tail and Testicle Hot Pot"

We went this morning to the Somerset Grand Hanoi (the sister hotel of the hotel we are staying at) to use their children's playground, as the children's playground here at the Westlake is still under construction. (Honestly, it looks nearly finished to me and each day I hope that they will let Max and Lana and Danny play on it, but, so far, no such luck.) There is also an international grocery store under the Grand Hanoi, so Tara (other Holt mom) and I took advantage of that to buy a few groceries while the kids played with David on the playground.

When we came back to our apartment, we made spaghetti for lunch (it was so nice to eat something recognizable and homemade), and then Lan fell asleep for a nap. David decided to go with the other Holt family to the Ho Chi Minh Museum and Mausoleum while Lana and I napped.

(This is now David relaying his experience) - We couldn't figure out how to get in to see the wax like body of Ho Chi Minh, or "Uncle Ho" as he is called here. The Ho Chi Minh complex includes the mausoleum, museum, presidential palace and the stilt house where Ho Chi Minh resided on the grounds of the presidential palace, and something called Mango Row which connects them. The stilt house is quite beautiful with remarkable woodwork and gigantic ravenous koi in the pond next to it. There are guards everywhere, and if you cross the white line they will blow their whistles and look fierce. Max (age 5) only got whistled at once. The museum is something truly to behold. The top floor has a bizarre collection of modern art and Ho Chi Minh quotes or sayings. There are strange replicas of Guernica and pieces of Chagall and Dali and Matisse prints. (Ho Chi Minh evidently met these painters when he was a cook in Paris in the 1920s, or was at least influenced by them, it was not clear). The museum is in strange contrast architechurally to the mausoleum. It is very modern while the mausoleum is stark, Soviet style utilitarianism. The gift shop sold a variety of Ho Chi Minh Memoribilia, along with a strange array of American products, like the child size shirt labeled, "Angel Boy American Sport." The grounds are beautiful and peaceful.

(This is Gretchen again.) Lana woke from her nap asking where her "ba"was. I was worried this would turn into a full-on meltdown, but, she didn't get upset. She just kept asking, "Ba? Ba?" about every 10 minutes. I tried to interest her in the Vietnamese version of Bugs Bunny we purchased yesterday, but, she is not at all interested in TV, at least not at this point in our attachment. So, we played with bubbles on the balcony for a while and then we went through her English language flash cards about 10,000 times. (She holds these up and insists that we say them to her. She won't repeat them for me at all - only for David, and only sometimes. But, she wants to hear the words over and over and over and over again.) Then she plastered her strawberry shortcake colorforms all over the balcony door, which kept her busy for about 20 minutes, and then we colored in her fake Disney coloring book (which we paid about 60 cents for and I am sure the Disney company didn't see a dime of. The complete and utter disregard for international copy right law is very curious to me.)

When David came home, he had purchased a packet of Ho Chi Minh post cards. Lana looked at the post cards and suddenly declared, "Bac Ho! Bac Ho!" (This means "Uncle Ho" in Vietnamese, their name for Ho Chi Minh.) Then she began to sing a song, the only words we recognized were "Bac Ho" and "Bac Ho" and "Vietnam" and "Vietnam". She sang this song very happily as she carried around her post card of Ho Chi Minh. I wish, truly wish, we had video of that event, but, sadly, we do not. However, whenever she sees the postcards she very earnestly says something that sounds like, "Bac Ho Viet Nam Ngan Nya." I am very very very curious what she is saying when she says this. She is very serious about it - which is strangely cute in a four year old. (It's probably something totally inappropriate in a four year old!)

When we began to get hungry we went down to the front desk to ask for the recommendation of a restaurant we could walk to. The doorman recommended a place called "Bep Viet" which means Vietnamese Kitchen. It was very close to the hotel walking along the lake side of the hotel, so, the doorman walked us in that direction until we could clearly see it. It is an open air restaurant with a large menu. We ordered some fried prawns for Lana and some more greens. (They were sold out of sweet potato buds, but, they brought mustard greens with garlic. Lana's love affair with greens is not limited to sweet potato buds, as she happily ate the mustard greens with garlic and ignored her fried prawns.) I was a bit suprised by the appearance of the fried prawns. They basically dipped the whole shrimp, eyes and legs and all, into batter and then deep fried it and covered it with tamirind sauce. Once I was able to separate the the shrimp meat from the eyes and the legs and the tail, I thought it tasted very good. Lana was less impressed. I also ordered beef with noodles which is a very common and tasty dish here. We were very curious where David's mullet fish was - and then. It arrived. Truly...I don't have any words. You are going to have to go over to the photobucket account and check itout. http://s140.photobucket.com/albums/r21/gretchenfaith/

I should note that I did actually eat some of this fish. I think you should all be proud of me for not running screaming away from the table with that fish looking at me like that. I will say that we did not order the most unusual item on the menu - the "Tail and Testicle Hot Pot." (No. I am not making that up, and no, I really don't want to know what it involves.)

When we walked back to the hotel, I showed the doorman the picture of Lana's face when she saw the fish. The doorman smiled at me politely and nodded and said, 'yes, she likes the fish'. I thought it was the doorman who had walked us down the restaurant, and afterwards Dave pointed out to me that it was NOT the same doorman, and that THAT doorman probably thinks we are insane for showing photos of our daughter to doormen out of the blue. Oh well.

Earlier today David purchased three cans of juice. One was dragon fruit juice, one was something called Basil Seed Juice (I swear I am not making that up, either. It's too weird to be fictional!), and the last one was passion fruit juice. Suffice it to say that only one of these is worth drinking. The basil seed juice (what on earth is a basil seed, aside from the obvious, which is, you know, that which you grow basil with?) - the basil seed juice was sickeningly sweet with "basil seeds" floating in a gelatinous goo. The dragon fruit juice was sickeningly sweet with bits of dragon fruit floating in a gelatinous goo. (We have eaten dragon fruit since we've been here, and it is much more enjoyable as a fruit than as a gelatinous drink.) The passion fruit juice takes very good, especially after the bizarre drinks that preceded it.

Well, it's time to get to bed. More from the land of basil seed juice and tail and testicle hot pot tomorrow.

Gretchen

Water Puppets and Emotionally Exhausted

We started the morning with a Skype call to Gabriel. My dad has set up a video camera, so, we were able to see our sweet boy's face for the first time since he was at my sister's house last Saturday. It was wonderful to see him, but, we just miss him so much. It is hard to be away from him so long.

After our video call, we had breakfast and went to the market. We bought two children's dvds in Vietnamese - we are hoping they will play on our dvd player back home, but, we're not sure if they will (Christina or anyone else who has been to Vietnam and back, did the dvds you bought here play at home?).

Lana wanted some more shrimp flavored chips, and when we got back to the apartment she was insistent upon sharing them with Dave and I. (We are happy that she wants to share, but, MAN!! Those chips are NASTY!!!) She also ate some instant noodles for lunch that were either crab or crawfish flavored. David fed them to her because the fishy smell was not something I could deal with. I am very happy to report that Lan is all about her daddy today. (I even got to take a whole bath with only two short visits from her (I guess to make sure I didn't slip out the window or something.) (Lan is odd about bathing. She refuses to sit in the tub. She stands passively and allows me to pour water over her body, and helps with the soaping up, but, she steadfastly refuses to sit in tub. I was hoping when she saw me sitting in the tub she would do so herself, but, no such luck. Maybe when she sees what fun Gabe has in a bubble bath...)

In the afternoon we took the hotel shuttle in to town and saw the temple that is in the center of Hoan Kiem Lake. We got some good photos outside the temple - I will try to post those tonight. Then we went to a boulangerie for some pastries (pain au chocolate!!) and Vietnamese coffee (which is, hands down, the best coffee that either of us have ever had.)

Then, we went to the Water Puppets. Lan was entranced by the Water Puppets until the last 5 minutes, when she started to fuss a little. I'm not sure how exactly to describe water puppetry, it's puppets...in water. It was very interesting, even though it was all in Vietnamese so we couldn't follow the story. HOWEVER, the ladies room at the Water Puppet Theater is ABSOLUTELY INFURIATING. The ladies room was overflowing with people, while the men's room was quiet. Also, in the men's room was a perfectly clean western style toilet. (I could see it from the hallway and David confirmed it's existence.) But, what did Lana and I find in the Ladies after waiting for 10 minutes with my child clutching her crotch and hopping up and down and pitifully saying "pee pee pee pee" in Vietnamese?? A FILTHY, NASTY UNFLUSHABLE squatty potty. I.e. a porcelain HOLE IN THE FLOOR. Lana had clearly never used one of these before, and it has been 10 years since I used one in Japan, where at least they flushed well.

This is the third time we have encountered deplorable conditions (like,for example, no toilet seats and no toilet paper) in the ladies when David has reported clean and pleasant conditions in the men's room. I don't know why I find this so infuriating - it would be merely a cultural thing to deal with if both the men's and ladies' rooms were in poor condition, but, to know that the men's is clean and not lacking in toilet seats or paper just makes me crazy.

After the water puppets and the heinous bathroom, we walked to St. Joseph's Cathedral. It was huge and quiet inside which was a relief after the insanity that is traffic in Hanoi. From there we went to dinner at Pho 24, which is a restaurant serving Pho (obviously.) The Pho was delicious, but, I had a pounding headache.

We finally found a cab to bring us back to the hotel. I feel utterly emotionally exhausted right now, although my headache has stopped pounding quite so much. I think we are going to eat some yogurt and head to bed.

More later,
Gretchen

Suddenly "Ba" is best

First and foremost, we have moved to a new apartment in a different wing of our serviced apartment hotel. We are now on the third floor and the staff has assured me they have scoured the apartment for any signs of "mice" - the best thing is that we now have two tvs - one in our bedroom and one in the living area.

David is no longer persona non grata as far as Lan is concerned. Suddenly she is calling for her "Ba" and showing him everything. She picks things up and demands something that sounds like, "BA! Nine!" We have presumed this means something like, "Daddy! Say!" and then David says whatever the name of the thing is in English, and then she says it in Vietnamese, and then David tries to mimic what she said, and then she laughs likes a lunatic. She says something which I assume is, 'My Ba speaks Vietnamese really badly."

Her passport didn't come in today, which is depressing.

We went to the zoo with another Holt family - I am going to try to post photos at the photobucket site. The zoo was in a peaceful setting, but, the animals were in very old cages. The tigers were going completely nuts when we got there, pacing figure eights in their cages and growling and vocalizing. At first I thought they wanted to eat us, but, then we saw a pony approaching the cage area. I have no idea why the pony was loose in the zoo. The pony is certainly very lucky the cages were strong and well made, because those tigers were desperate to break out.

There were also a lot of loose rats in the zoo. Evidently, I cannot escape the curse of the rodents that is upon me.

Lan also chose the zoo to start testing us. She ran from us to see what we would do. It was disturbing, one because it does hurt our feelings for her to behave like she wants to be away from us, and two, because we had to chase after her, and we looked like we were kidnapping a Vietnamese child.

After the zoo, we went to dinner at a Chinese restaurant. I didn't think things were going to go very well - it was kind of a nice place with white tablecloths, and there appeared to be some kind of wedding party going on. The waitstaff killed a turtle right next to our table and then we watched as the thing struggled while they drained it's blood into a big glass and then they served the blood with vodka to a large group of people who were there for the wedding party. It had been such an emotional day for us (with the rat, with Lan running from us) I thought I was going to start to cry. I miss Gabe so much, and there is so much about this culture we don't understand, and we are so helpless linguistically.

Anyway, we ordered two beef dishes, and a fried shrimp dish for Lan, and then something called, 'pan fried sweet potato buds'.

Contemplate 'pan fried sweet potato buds' for a moment. Do you have a thought in your head of what it might be?

Yeah. Me too. Pan fried bits of sweet potato is what I thought.

Did you think 'collard greens'? Because, truly, the words 'collard greens' never crossed my mind when I ordered 'pan fried sweet potato buds' but 'collard greens' is surely what they looked like. I must have looked VERY DISAPPOINTED because the waitress brought the menu back over and pointed out 'pan fried sweet potato buds' and pointed to the greens. At the point I was just resigned to paying 15000 D (about .90) for something no one would eat, Lana lunged across the table, grabbed a huge handful of the greens in her fist, and SHOVED THEM INTO HER MOUTH. She followed this with a guilty look, like she expected she would be in trouble for eating them. I just pushed the plate toward her AND SHE ATE THE WHOLE PLATE. With gusto. She dipped them into the sauce they came with and she polished off an entire plate of 'pan fried sweet potato buds'. She also ate some of the fried shrimp. Fried shrimp and collard greens. That's my girl. (David and Tara (the other Holt mom who was with us) both tried the greens and pronounced them 'better' than collard greens, because they were less bitter. Being as I am not a fan of greens in any form (sorry Grandma), I didn't try them. My beef with vegetables was quite tasty, though.)

Well, it's about time to get this greens-loving-child to bed.

More tomorrow,
Gretchen

I know what mouse poop looks like...

Not for nothing did I grow up in a farmhouse built in 1901. I KNOW what the poop of a standard house mouse looks like.

And despite the efforts of the hotel staff to tell me that is what I found ON MY BED TABLE and ON MY BEDROOM FLOOR and ON MY COMPUTER TABLE this morning...these droppings are from something significantly larger than a mouse. I've been researching rodent droppings for the past half an hour and I am pretty sure it came from a Norway rat or a Ship rat. (Question - if the Norway rat originated in central asia, why is it called a Norway rat?)

I am NOT CALM about this. I am entirely NOT CALM or COOL or COLLECTED about this. It would be an understatement to say that I FREAKED THE HELL OUT.

This is a NICE HOTEL. Wealthy ex-pats live in this hotel year round. However, it is under extensive renovation and we are the only people on the 8th floor. Suffice it to say we are moving. As soon as possible. Definitely before dark.

Why is my life so plagued by rodents? Bats in my old house, now this!

On the bright side, Lana is acting like a normal four year old, so, we have that to celebrate.

Gretchen

First Visa Interview and Lan warms up to David - a little

We had our first visa interview at the US Embassy yesterday.  The embassy was not very impressive looking from the outside or in - I'm not sure what I expected, but, dingy and grungy was not it.  Anyway, our interview was very quick and now we are waiting for Lan's passport to be issued by the Vietnamese government.  There is a possibility it may be issued tomorrow, so, cross your fingers.  We are supposed to stay at the hotel all day tomorrow and wait for the Holt staff to phone regarding the passports. 

 

Lan threw up again in the Holt van on the way back from the Visa interview.  I think it was a combination of car sickness and also that she got upset when Son, the little boy who was fostered with her in the same home, got out of the van.  His family is staying at the Somerset Grand, and we are staying at the Somerset Westlake.  She quietly cried when his parents took him out of the van, and then she threw up a few minutes later...fortunately, we were almost back to the Westlake when that happened.

 

After that, we had a play date with the other Holt family who is staying here at the Westlake.  Lan, Max (age 5) and Danny (age 2) played and laughed and chased eachother around.  It was nice.  Then, we all went for a walk and took a cab to the Old Quarter to have dinner at the Green Tangerine.  It is a very very swanky restaurant (none of us realized that when we chose it!).  Lan actually ate some fish and some potatos - it's the first thing she has eaten that wasn't fruit, yogurt or crackers since we have had her.  I think it was good for her to see Max and Danny eating - she ate too. 

 

Lan is beginning to open up to David.  She played a game with him this morning with a ball and then she fed him some papaya.  She wouldn't let either of us feed her papaya, but, she did feed both of us and then ate some herself.  She is laughing and smiling and talking (only in Vietnamese though).  She likes to wash dishes and clean up.  She is very particular about things being tidy. 

 

She is still stuck to me like glue, and I ended up sleeping with her last night.  She refused to let go of my pajamas when I tried to get out of her bed.  She also slept clutching the Tinkerbell chapstick we gave her yesterday...curious.  She is awake and we are going to go out and do some exploring.

 

More later,

Gretchen

~Blessed are those who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused~

Giving and Receiving Ceremony and Travel to Hanoi

On Monday morning, January 8 (which would have been Sunday evening at home) Hoa from Holt picked us up from our hotel and took us to the bank to change some travelers checks.  That took about 1/2 an hour, and I was shocked at how insane the bank was.  I think I was expecting something like the banks in Japan, where maintaining one's proper place in line is practically a religious edict.  Instead it seemed to be a free for all.  People were shoving papers at the teller who was trying to help Dave and with the traveler's checks.  It was overwhelming with people talking and getting in everyone's way.  Finally, after filling out two forms and taking photocopies of our passports, they gave us the Vietnamese money and we left for the orphanage.  One of the other couples adopting through Holt was sharing a cab with us.

 

We arrived at the orphanage, and the orphanage director spoke to us and the other two Holt families for a few minutes.  (I should point out that it is very unusual for three Holt families to be adopting at the same time.  But, it is NICE.  It is really nice to have other people who know exactly what you are going through!  Also, one of the families, the father is a Vietnamese American, and although he is extremely modest in insisting that he doesn't speak Vietnamese very well, he has been a real HERO to us.  For example, on Sunday night, we were allowed to visit at the orphanage until 5:30 and then we were supposed to have the orphanage staff call a taxi to take us all back to the hotel. But, it was raining so hard, when the orphanage staff called the taxi company, they said they couldn't come because they were too busy with so many people needing taxis in the rain.  All this info was relayed to Thai (the Vietnamese American father).  We were allowed to stay at the orphanage an extra hour until the cab could come, but, we would have no idea what the orphanage staff was trying to tell us if he hadn't been with us!)

 

Anyway, back to the going away party on Monday morning- after the orphanage director spoke to us, we went into another room and had a going away party for the three children who were being adopted that day - Lana, Danny and Son (who is keeping his Vietnamese name.  There were candies and cake and a white steamed bun called Bao ("Pow") that had pork and eggs inside.

 

Lana had really warmed up to us the night before, but, the morning of the party she cried, and she cried on the way to the hotel. 

 

On Monday afternoon, we had the Giving and Receiving Ceremony, in which we promised to love Lan and raise her to be a good citizen, and said how much we appreciated how much she had been loved and cared for by the orphanage staff and her foster mom. 

 

After the ceremony we returned to the hotel.  Lan kept putting her shoes on, so, we decided to go out - we took a cab to the Supermarket - I cannot remember its name, but, it reminded us of a Japanese department store, with four levels of different departments from clothes to groceries to toys to furniture.  We bought her two shirts and two pairs of pants (grand total of $10 for everything) and then two coloring books, some colored pencils and a fish shaped pencil sharpner ($1.80).  Then we went to the grocery - she showed us the kinds of boxed milk she likes, and she was happy to get a bag of shrimp flavored chips.  Yes.  Shrimp flavor.  Yum.  NOT! 

 

From the Supermarket, we went to Bread of Life in DaNang.  I am going to post about this more - all adopting families going to DaNang need to know about Bread of Life - they have Ham and Cheese sandwiches and BAGELS!!  It's also a charitiable organization, so, I will post about this later.

 

Lan fell asleep watching Strawberry Shortcake in English.  I woke her up at 11:00 to go to the bathroom (as her foster mom had told me to do), and we had to wake her at 6:15 to leave.  She refused food, but, did drink some orange juice.  That was a mistake...

 

She threw up in the cab on the way to the DaNang Airport.  THEN, when we finally got on the flight to Hanoi, she began to sob inconsolably, crying for her foster mother.  THEN she started throwing up.  And she threw up again and again.  She went through three of her own outfits, and one outfit belonging to Max, the five year old son of one of one of the families traveling with us.  (And I felt awful about that, because Max's mom had only her carry on luggage because China Air lost all their luggage - so, she had Max, her new son Daniel, and herself, all with only 2 pieces of carry on luggage!)

 

She threw up the last time as we landed, and I couldn't imagine where it all came from, since she had only had orange juice for breakfast and had already vomited several times.  It was awful.  She was screaming for her foster mom.  The Vietnamese people on the plane looked at us like we were monsters.  The European people on the plane looked at us like we were lunatics.  It was wretched. 

 

We finally got our luggage at baggage claim in Hanoi, and she and I changed our clothes and we shared a cab with one of the other families (it was Max's family - David has been happy to have Max around, as Max, age 5, think David is the best thing since sliced bread.  Max reminds David of Gabe, so, all is well.)

 

Things went better after we arrived at our hotel.  We are staying at the Somerset Westlake, we are serviced executive apartments.  We have two bedrooms, two baths, and kitchen and eating and living area.  It's very nice.  We could finally unpack and Lan seemed much more comfortable.  She is a little shadow to me and will not be in a room without me.  (She sat outside the bathroom door while I took a shower.)

 

I have to stop typing as we have our first appointment at the embassy.  More later,

 

Gretchen

We have Lan

We had the going away party at the orphanage this morning.  Lan was visibly shaken and sad.  She ate only yogurt at the party.  After the party, the staff insisted on feeding her an enormous bowl of what looked like oatmeal with chunks of meat in it.  (I really didn't want them to do that, I was terrified she would throw up on us when we tried to leave.)

 

We got a taxi (ourselves and one of the other Holt families who is adopting) and returned to the Hotel.  Lan sobbed most of the way to the hotel, but, she stopped crying right before we arrived.  Hoa (the Holt social worker) told us it was the children's nap time, so, we took them to our rooms.  Lan laid down on the bed with me, and took a nap and cried a little.  When she woke up, she laid on the bed and watched us very intently.  After some coaxing she accpted her new clothes and we got dressed for the Giving and Receving Ceremony. 

 

We have just come back from the G&R.  She was very good during the long ceremony and quietly ate a tangerine through the whole thing.

 

We are going to go out now to the grocery and try to find some boxed milk (like Capri Suns, but, milk.  Evidently, she likes that.) 

 

Our flight tomorrow has been changed to very early in the morning.  We will leave DaNang at 8:00 AM and arrive in Hanoi at 9:15, so, we will not be able to Skype home at 8:30 tomorrow night as we will be flying.  Tell Gabe we love him so much and miss him so much,

Love,

Gretchen

 

Impressions from David

We got to meet with Lan's foster mother and sister.  That was difficult.  It was obvious that they love Lan and are sad to see her go.  They have had her in their house for four years.  They are also "losing" their other foster son on the same day.  The other family that is here is adopting the son that Lan's foster mother was fostering.  Her house went from two children to none on the same day.  It was good to meet her and know that she loves Lan and that Lan was cared for, but it was very emotional on both sides.

We also got to see Lan again today for a few hours.  She warmed up to Gretchen and let her feed her and hold her most of the time.  She, however, seemed suspect of me and would only look at me.  She refused food from me and did not want me to touch her.  But it is good that she is bonding with one of us.  We know that it will come for me as well.

 

First Meeting with Lan

We met with Lan for about 1 hour and 45 minutes this afternoon.  Her foster mother had dropped her off at the Care Center this morning.  She recognized us from our photos but was hesitant to come to us.  With urging from the nannies, she sat with us and let me feed her some fruit snacks.  She began to cry when the nannies asked if she was happy her new mom and dad had come for her and she shook her head.  After a while, I showed her some pictures of Gabriel.  She was interested in the photos of Gabriel building with his legos.  When the nanny told her, "This is your big brother, he is building a dragon".  She looked very interested.  The nanny asked if she wanted to meet her big brother and see his dragon toy, she nodded.  She let me pick her up and walk with her, and sing her a song.  She held on to me around my neck and with her legs around my waist and did not try to push me away, which I think is a good sign.  She liked the white bear, but, was VERY interested in the Polly Pocket doll.  She started to cry a little bit again, and the social worker from our agency asked her if she was sad, and she nodded.  I held her on my lap and rubbed her back and told her it was okay to be sad right now.  I asked the social worker to tell her that in Vietnamese - she said something to her, I hope she translated it correctly.  By the time we left, she let me feed her some chicken broth (but no noodles) and she sat in Dave's lap.  Then we had to leave and she looked terribly upset again.  (I cannot imagine what a horrible day this has been for her.  The only mother she remembers dropped her off an orphanage, everyone told her her new parents would come, they came, and then they left again.)

 

We will go tomorrow morning at 8;30 to meet her foster mother, but, Lan will not come with us.  After that, we will go back to the orphanage for a few hours in the morning and again in the afternoon.

 

This evening we had dinner with another Holt family who is adopting a little boy.  We had some beef and noodle dishes that were good.  We are exhausted and heading to bed.

 

Gretchen

Arrived in Danang

After 35 hours of traveling, we have arrived in DaNang.  We are exhausted.  We will go to the orphange to meet Lana in about 5 hours.  We are going to try to sleep, although we just had some of the best coffee on the planet (two cups each), so, that may not be possible.  (No, Stace, it was not the monkey-poop coffee!!)

 

Love,

Gretchen

~Blessed are those who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused~

Leaving on a Jet Plane

We are leaving tomorrow for Vietnam.  We hope to post pictures here:

  http://s140.photobucket.com/albums/r21/gretchenfaith/  

you have to scroll down to see the pictures

Cross your fingers for us.

Gretchen