There is Polly Pocket in My Purse, Where Once Only Hotwheels Tread

Five months ago, David and I first met our brown-eyed girl. (See post below for a photo of our first mintues together).

In many ways, I can hardly believe that it has only been five months. It seems like a lifetime ago.

I know it makes no sense, and I know I have said this before (to some of you in real life, if not on this blog), that my memories of our time in DaNang and HaNoi are farther away from me that my memories of our time in Japan, or my time in France or our time in Tucson. Those times and places are all more than a decade in the past. But, my memories of the lives I led in those places are clearer, crisper, more available to me, than the three weeks we spent in Viet Nam. My memories of that trip seem to grow fuzzier by the day, like they are at the very edges of my consciousness and threatening to fade away into oblivion. I am so glad I kept such a detailed journal, because, without it, truly, I would have a hard time remembering that it was "real."

Obviously, when I look at Lana, when I see tiny pink shoes in the foyer of my house, I know she came from somewhere. But it seems impossible - only five months ago? Only five months ago, David and I flew halfway around the world, for this child, and brought her home? Hasn't she always been here?

And yet it is the pink shoes in my foyer - I KNOW those haven't always been there. Or the Polly Pocket at the bottom of my purse, hanging out with a Tinkerbell lip gloss. Is it possible it has only been five months since I first saw her with my own eyes?

It hasn't been easy, these five months. But, I think it's getting easier. It's certainly getting harder to remember that she hasn't always been a part of us.

Gretchen